I have a confession to make.
If you have followed along with me, then you know that I do a seasonal capsule wardrobe, which means that I only shop for clothing about four times a year. One of the tenants of a Capsule Wardrobe is that you spend several bliss free months fasting from shopping. That way when you get to the new season you can do your shopping with a clear head and with focused intention.
Right?
Okay, well… here’s where the confession comes in: when I shopped for my fall capsule back in August, I was immediately transported back to the “I want all the stuff” feelings.
I thought that they had gone away during the three months that I had refrained from shopping while I lived with my first capsule, but turns out they were still there.
Huh.
It’s almost as if I had bottled those feelings up only to have them come rushing back the minute I started shopping again. It got me thinking, maybe they never go away?
Maybe minimalism isn’t the perfect answer to an unbalanced view of shopping?
Maybe I’ll never be 100% content with what I own?
Here’s the thing: about 5 years ago I decided to fast from shopping for an entire year. It was such an amazing year! I felt like I grew so much and learned so much about myself. I honestly felt more content that year than I can remember feeling in a very long time.
And you know? When the year was over, for awhile I felt like my shopping was more self-controlled and not as emotionally driven, but then as time went on and I distanced myself from that fast, I started to fall right back into shopping as a means to fill a void.
If anything, I was worse off than when I started. It made me realize that fasting from shopping isn’t the answer.
Fasting alone won’t cure an unhealthy attachment, it really only creates space between you and the thing you’re fasting from. What I began to realize is that it’s what you do WITH that space that makes the difference.
The first time around, I hadn’t filled up that space with tools to help me survive once I was done with fasting so as soon as I was done, I fell right back into my old patterns. But even though I have found a great way to lessen my impulsive urges to shop, a minimal Wardrobe is not a end all solution.
Because here’s the point: I don’t think we can ever totally get rid of our “Kryptonite”. You know why? I don’t think humans are able to self actualize with only our desire to do so (that may make some of you mad, but it’s how I truly feel). I think that each day we can strive to be better than the day before, but no one is perfect.
It just makes sense that I’ll never perfectly be able to totally resist associating emotions with shopping, but hopefully I will grow, mature, and find a place of balance of being intentional with my wardrobe. A Capsule Wardrobe does give me a strategy for working with my own humanity, but it can only take me so far.
Internal transformation happens much more slowly and it’s much more complex than just slapping a set of rules on a problem.
But we’re all in this together right? You all have been so encouraging to me on this journey and I hope that I’ve been able to encourage you as well. I’m so thankful that we are all together in our humanity.
What about you? Do you find yourself still falling back on your old patterns, even though you have been able to successfully do a capsule wardrobe?
Until next time,
Photos taken by Olivia Holloway
This post really hit home with me. I have never done an intentional shopping fast, but our budget has pretty much forced it to happen the last couple of years. I often find myself in a store and feeling so overwhelmed with “I want it all” feelings and it’s interesting to realize that might never go away. Kind of like the fact that I am an impatient person/mother and I’ve come to realize that this is a personality trait that God and I will have to tackle all my life–I’m probably not going to wake up one day and suddenly not have to intentionally face it.
I completely agree Mandy! It’s like the “thorn in our flesh” that Paul talks about. It’s meant to refine us and draw us closer to God and that is never an easy process!
I’ve never done a capsule wardrobe but I am curious to know more about it. I definitely shop too much and find I shop the most when I’m feeling insecure or unhappy. Shopping is therapeutic for me but I know I need to reign it in partly because the happiness it brings me is so temporary.
I know exactly how you feel Camile! I have been there so many times! I think the act of shopping isn’t bad, it is just when it becomes something that consumes us that we need to take a closer look at why it has become that way.
While I’ve never done a capsule wardrobe, I’ve really tried to hold back on shopping lately since I have so many clothes that I never wear. I totally get it though. I go months without buying anything, but sometimes I’ll get this crazy feeling of “I NEED TO BUY EVERYTHING.” It usually goes away if I just let it sit in my cart for a few days. Good luck!
Thanks Kaileigh! And it’s always a good idea to wait on something to make sure you really want it. 🙂
For me, the one place I do splurge is my wardrobe. Fashion has always been a big part of who I am, so I’ve cut MANY MANY other things out (no longer have TV, we cook every meal, etc.) but a few nice pieces of fashion here and there make me happy.
P.S. your baby is ADORABLE!
Thank you Mandi! And that’s an excellent strategy!
Interesting. I feel a little bit of the opposite. I was addicted to shopping, and had severe emotional attachment to clothes and possessions. I did almost a year from abstaining. (my mom sent me a shirt? I don’t know if that counts?) And, I feel no attachment and no desire to shop anymore. I’ve also examined it from the ecological and environmental aspect. The whole industry turns me off, and I was a victim of it. I think it’s more of a mind set. Shopping isn’t fun any more. What I buy doesn’t define me. I’m still working down to a 75 piece year round capsule. I’m at about a hundred pieces. Minus work shoes and necessities.
That’s great Kathryn! I’m glad you have come to a place where you can feel emotionally distant from shopping! Teach us your ways… 😉
This is a GREAT post with such awesome points. Sometimes I just feel like “I need to get rid of everything!!” and think it will solve my problems. But you are so right – we have to fill up with something, otherwise we end up right where we started. I’ll have to check out some of your capsule wardrobe posts too – I always feel like I have too many clothes. I want to get rid of things, but do it with intention and with a plan.
Thank you Jenn! I completely agree with you!
I love what you said, especially in this paragraph, “It just makes sense that I’ll never perfectly be able to totally resist associating emotions with shopping, but hopefully I will grow, mature, and find a place of balance of being intentional with my wardrobe. A Capsule Wardrobe does give me a strategy for working with my own humanity, but it can only take me so far.”
I found myself struggling with this as I put together my fall capsule this past weekend. I only started seasonal capsules last fall, but it was toward the end of the season. I had already done some fall shopping by the time I decided to try a capsule, so I tried to make my new purchases work and just go with it. When I went to make my fall capsule this year, I thought it should be so easy considering I had made several fall purchases last year. But, armed with my new capsule outlook, trying to make some of the things I already owned worked was like trying to put square pegs into circular holes and it just wasn’t working (hence why it took me so long to get an actual start on my fall capsule!). So I did some browsing and some shopping and felt like a failure because isn’t having a capsule supposed to keep me from shopping? I’m just not sure that’s realistic for me though. I’m not radically growing and changing, but I am changing over time and it makes sense that my wardrobe should change a little bit with me. I figure that if I’m 90-95% happy with each season’s wardrobe and only want to add a couple new things, I’m in A LOT better of a place than I used to be when I would pull out my clothes for the season and STILL feel like I had nothing to wear. Ideally I want to create 4 great seasonal capsules that I can wear year-to-year, but I fully expect that they’ll need a bit of tweaking (and shopping) each time. Great post!
Hi Tracy! Thank you so much! I’m beginning to realize that shopping needs to play a part in my capsules, but with limitations. I’m not really sure what that will look like exactly, but I think I need to be a slow shopper in order to be an intentional shopper. I think it’s the frenzy of needing to fit all of my shopping into three weeks that gets me “sucked up” into a vortex of wanting everything in sight! It is a process though and I think it’s important to give a nod to our successes as well. 🙂
Beautiful pictures!
Please I would love for you to check out my blog sometime 🙂 AND I’m having a Giveaway with Lou & Roo (a children’s clothing company)
Have a wonderful day!
xo
http://thejoifullife.com/index.php/2015/10/06/lou-roo-giveaway-2/
Thank you Joi!
I’ve never considered doing a capsule wardrobe but I think I’m going to consider doing it. I used to really struggling with spending a ton of money on clothes (it was so bad that when I ran into two of the workers of one store at the mall, they remarked, “Girl, you’re always shopping.”) I found that what has stopped my over-spending is I’m willing to sacrifice the quality of the clothing for cheap prices. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to have the amount of money to buy a bunch of higher quality stores. But I totally get what you mean about overspending after fasting from shopping.
I definitely can identify with that! I think I knew every person at the Gap by name. Whoops!
What beautiful photos! I know exactly how you feel and I’ve really tried to work on making shopping less about buying things and more about the experience of trying on so many fun things!
That’s a great way of approaching it Lauren! And thank you!
well…since i love to shop…. 😀
😉
I love this post because I feel like a lot of the minimalist blogs I read are like “my life was horrible, I threw away all my stuff, and now everything is amazing.” After several different purges, a year of capsules, and a month-long minimalist challenge, I feel more disatisfied than beforehand. Unless you’re going to do a complete lifestyle change and live out in the woods a la Thoreau, it’s close to impossible to not want all the things every time you walk past an Anthropologie. And since it’s difficult to completely avoid all shopping triggers, I try to keep them at the forefront of my mind instead. I have acne-prone skin so whenever I have a bad breakout, I get the urge to buy a bunch of new beauty products, health food, clothing, whatever I think will help me feel perfect and pretty. After 15 years of this impulse shopping never curing my skin, I am able to remind myself that there never has been and never will be a miracle product. Instead I throw on a DIY face mask, sip some infused water, and read personal finance blogs until the shopping urge subsides. I also plan luxury purchase instead of just letting them happen. Starbucks is reserved for weekly grocery runs, I have one big beauty online order mid-month to stock up on products, and I allow myself one thoroughly planned out clothing purchase per month. And one of the best things you can do is having a budgeting partner; someone who lives with you to call you out on your unnecessary purchases. 9 out of 10 of my impulse buys are avoided because I know my husband would just shake his head if I bought another throw pillow for the couch! 😉
xoxo,
Lauren
http://laurenhooperetc.wordpress.com
Thank you Lauren! And I love your insight! Also… love a good reference to Thoreau. 🙂 I totally know what you mean about impulsively wanting to buy something because things aren’t going perfectly. I’m still kind of figuring things out, but I do think at some point I will be integrating shopping during my capsules. And I love your idea to distract yourself until the urge subsides!
I haven’t thought of it this way. Less isn’t always more! Thanks. 🙂
My favorite book is Abundant Simplicity and she talks about how simplicity isn’t the goal. We are breathing out excess to make room for the right things (like a life focused on God!)
What a wonderful thought Branson! I’ll have to check out that book!
I have been fasting from shopping ever since I got married…story of my life.
I meant clothes shopping…
Haha! I figured. 🙂
You are absolutely right, we are all a little bit guilty of that! It is just hard to control yourself with things you are passioned about or mean a lot to you!
That’s very true Victoria!
Love that tote!
Thank you!!
It makes sense that you would like it. 😉
Love this post! I’ve never tried a capsule wardrobe but I do constantly find myself falling back to old habits in things I thought I had controlled, glad I’m not alone!
You’re definitely not alone Paula! And thank you!
This season I am not doing a capsule wardrobe and it hasn’t turned out so good. My intention was to only upgrade what I had in my wardrobe and only buying 3 new things this season. I failed. I bought several new things to go to Chicago……beyond my 3 new things to upgrade and things that were totally unnecessary in my wardrobe. I went to Chicago with my beautiful, tall, thin friend who is super fashionable and I didn’t want to feel frumpy while with her. Guess what? I did anyway, even with the new things. I actually felt best in my old faithful clothes that I had chosen carefully over the past few seasons whose style is truly me. I let emotions rule me the last several weeks. I need to reevaluate and get back to my ‘why” I choose to live a minimalist life. It’s so I can focus more on the things I love and the things that matter. Sometimes it is easy to get sucked back into consumerism, even if you feel you have got past it…..
I hear you Rebecca! There are some things that I think people will just always struggle with no matter what. I think it’s part of who we are/personality, etc.
Thanks for the refreshingly honest take!