You guys know how much I love Sugar Candy Mountain by now.
I’ve talked about them endlessly and shared their clothes on Truncation for a little over a year now.
Part of the reason I love them so much is that every thing that I own from them feels like it has magical powers.
There is just something about the fit, the fabric, the colors…
I put their pieces on and I feel feminine and ME.
But besides that, I have a special place in my heart for them because the very first dress I bought from them propelled me (in a major way) into settling on my ideal style.
That sounds strange, but let me explain:
I’m sure those of you who have been reading since the beginning know that my style has been kind of all over the place.
The last few years have been such a time of change for me, and I have grown up more in those few years than I did my entire twenties (maybe that’s an exaggeration, but that’s how it feels).
A huge reason is that I became a mother, which transformed me more than I thought was possible.
But it’s also been life circumstances. We’ve had a lot happen the last couple of years, and it. has. changed me.
And part of the way that I dealt with all of that change in such a short period of time was to try to “define” my style so at least on some level I was being accurately represented.
But you know what? The more I tried to force my style to be defined, the less it wanted to be and the more I found myself in the wrong clothing.
And then I found that dress. I put it on and it just SPOKE to me. It was effortless, and feminine, and a little different… and I just felt so good in it.
But it’s not the kind of dress that you see on very many people here in the land of 10,000 casseroles (aka Minnesota), so it also took a bit of bravery to wear it.
And I realized that I had been dressing more for my environment than I had realized. I just wanted to fit in, look like everyone else, and have my style be universally accepted.
But once I put that dress on, there was no going back.
I wore it, I felt confident, and I realized that from that point on I was wearing what I wanted, no matter the external status quo.
And it changed the way I dressed. It changed how I shopped. And it gave me confidence to own my own tastes and preferences.
So often, we allow external motivators to define our style. I see so much chatter about finding your own style in the ethical fashion/capsule wardrobe community when in reality I don’t think style has to be found.
I think it’s an intrinsic thing to who you are…
you just have to reach inward to recognize it.
Pinterest and Instagram are great for being inspired, but if you rely on them too heavily it can cloud your ability to see what’s already inside of you waiting to be revealed.
It doesn’t need to be complicated: it can be as simple as taking a quiet moment to think “what do I like?” If you pay attention to that one question, you’ll find your closet easily beginning to represent your style.
(just a side note that a closet that represents your style does not necessarily have to be well curated)
And if you’re finding it hard to hear that voice, shut out those outside voices for awhile. Take a break from youTube, Instagram, Pinterest… for as long as you need to. Then give yourself the hard limit of only buying something if it answers that question.
Over time it will get easier… it did for me. Now I’m very selective in what I purchase and who I collaborate with because that answer has gotten clearer with each question.
It may seem like it should be more difficult than this, but it really isn’t. It just takes practice listening to yourself and then shutting out what other people think (like when my dad asked if I was wearing a graduation robe over Thanksgiving ha! I wasn’t by the way).
What do you think? Have you been able to find your personal style? Or are you still “searching” for it?
Until next time,
Karin
Some of the links below are affiliate links. If you choose to shop through them I will make a small commission. Thank you for supporting Truncation!
Sugar Candy Mountain Dress. Get $30 off through this link.
Swedish Stocking Knee High Socks
Blundstone Boots (TTS)
Zoe River Elegance Locket Necklace
The Usual Suspects:
Karin! This resonated so deeply with me! Especially life circumstances changing so much and wanting SOME THING to accurately represent you. For me it has been becoming a mom and health challenges, and while I think my style represents me a little more than it did a few years ago, it’s not as easy and “controllable” as I thought it would be. I have been reading your blog for a few months now and have so much appreciated your honesty, style perspectives and your desire to seek Christ! Love from Mebane, NC
I’m so glad it did Mary! I think when our life feels out of control, its so easy to try to grasp onto SOMETHING we can control… but I’m finding that embracing the out of control feelings bring greater understanding and healing. And thank you so much for your kind words, they really mean a lot to me!
Yes; I feel this, and I think it’s one of those things that can feel really superficial until you realize how different you feel in things that are “you.” I have been so happy with the way I’ve come back into my personal style this year, and it has been important to do so in light of lots of questioning, grief, trauma, and change in my life. To have something that is yours makes a difference.
Exactly Leah! Sometimes I try to downplay the power of personal style, but it really does make a big difference! I’m so sorry you’ve had a hard year, but I have really appreciated seeing your style become more “you.”
I feel like I’ve been in the “reaching inside and recognizing my style” process for a very long time. The thing is, it changes. In high school, my style felt like knee high, striped, toe socks paired with tie dye shorts. In college, it was all dresses and heels and bright colors. Now I lean a bit more in a sack dress and trousers direction. I feel so comfortable where I am and also willing to try new things…if I can find them in the thrift store ;).
I think part of finding your style is coming to terms with it changing. I used to think if I found it once then it could never change, but I think part of the reaching inside is recognizing the need to evolve… sounds like you’ve figured that out!