First things first:
I have some news for you! If you don’t follow me on social media (which you should, I post a lot of content there that doesn’t make it here… you can follow me on Instagram here) then you may not have seen that we announced what we’re having!
We’re having a…
…
…
BOY! We’re really excited about it, but also kind of nervous. I’ll be honest: I wanted another girl. There are just so many cute girl things that we have that I wanted to use one more time, and we LOVED the girl name we had picked out, and it just feels familiar…
but the more I’ve sat with the news, the more excited I’ve become. It’ll be fun to mix things up, and I love the dynamic of three older sisters with a baby brother (he’ll probably feel like he has four mothers ha!). Plus, I’ve heard that the mother/son relationship is just extra special. It’s definitely taken some getting used to, but I am now fully on board (not that I really have a choice 😉 ).
I don’t want to chat your ear off about baby stuff today though because I AM planning on doing a 20 weekish update soon (did you see my last update?), BUT if you have any advice for a soon to be boy mom please leave me a comment below!
One thing that always happens to me when I get pregnant, and I’m assuming it’s the hormones, is that I suddenly just care a lot less what other people think of me.
I mean, I’m growing a human so just get the heck out of my way okay? Or something along those lines…
It manifests in a lot of different areas, but especially when it comes to how I present myself to the world.
What I mean is: I’m a pretty girly girl. As in, I LOVE to go camping and hiking and do all kinds of “get dirty” kind of things, but you better believe I’m bringing my dry shampoo and makeup bag. I like doing my makeup and hair, and I like to look cute in what I’m wearing… even when it may seem a bit high maintenance.
Which leads me to: I’m also pretty high maintenance. I like to have a beauty routine. I like a 5 step skincare routine at night. I like to put on self tanner, and paint my nails. I super appreciate people that are very minimalistic in that regard, but I enjoy NOT being minimalistic when it comes to things like that.
When I’m not pregnant, I tend to be a bit more insecure and I see people on Instagram like Caroline Joy and Jessica Mau and they’re so cool in their minimal makeup and casual styles and I tend to forget who I really am and try to be like them… but then it never sticks and I’m putting on self tanner and feeling bad about it because it’s not something a “cool, minimalist” girl would do.
But then I get pregnant, and I’m like you know what? This is me. I’m doing these things, and I don’t care. It’s kind of refreshing.
I’m a person who is very self conscious of how others are perceiving me, and I want EVERYONE to hold me in the highest regard… which we all know is just not possible, but I tend to try to change to please people. I’ve grown a LOT in this area as I’ve gotten older, but it still pops up here and there and it’s been a bit of a struggle for me with blogging.
But with this current pregnancy, and I think just getting older I’m learning (and getting better) at staying in my lane. There will always be someone to criticize what I’m doing, there will always be people who judge me (and make false assumptions about me) for being more high maintenance than others, but I can really only be who I am and trying to change certain aspects of my personality is only going to lead to frustration in the long run.
Where am I going with all of this you ask?
ALL that to say, when I saw this gingham dress I immediately loved it. I had been looking for a few short sleeve dresses to add to my warm weather wardrobe to accommodate my growing belly, and this one caught my eye in the best way.
But then I started thinking: is gingham still in? Are people going to think I’m high maintenance because I’m a work at home mom who wears dresses? And I immediately started to second guess my interest in this dress based on a lot of external factors.
And then the pregnancy hormones surged in (kidding… kind of), and I made a firm decision to ignore those voices, and go with the dress I liked instead of a dress or piece of clothing that I thought would please the most amount of people.
Because at the end of the day, who CARES if gingham isn’t “in” anymore… its a classic pattern… and who CARES if people think I’m high maintenance, and also, what’s so bad about being high maintenance in the first place?
My point in sharing all of this is to encourage you to ignore the critics (sometimes that may only be internal critics) as well. Are you living your life for everyone else or are you living it for yourself? Sometimes it’s as simple as picking out an outfit that you know is super outdated, but you love it… maybe it means being the one who doesn’t wear any makeup in a family of women who go all out.
In a world of social media it is SO easy to be influenced by the people we see online to the point where we begin to deny parts of our personality that are integral to what makes us unique. There’s nothing wrong with being inspired by people, or to even get ideas from people, but we so often take it to an extreme… we start to change who we are so we can be more like them.
I’d love to see our culture get to a point where we can see what other people are doing and celebrate it WITH them, but still stay true to who we are. I’d love to see more people OWNING who they are without feeling threatened by another person’s uniqueness.
It may be as simple as picking up the gingham dress when you know someone you admire would have gone with a different choice, but it’s those small decisions that strengthen our “staying true” muscles to a point where we can live with cognitive dissonance in a world that is buzzing with variety and options.
What do you think? Is there hope for the world of social media? Have you found it affecting your ability to stay true to who you are?
What I’m Wearing:
gingham wrap dress (I got it in a size 4) (sustainable). Really similar, more affordable option here
purse. more affordable option here
shoes (TTS). More affordable option here
Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. If you choose to shop through them I will make a small commission. Thank you for supporting Truncation!
Karin, I LOVE this post, and I can totally relate. I feel like my own personal style kind of has two sides to it: a fun, decidedly feminine side, and a more cool/minimal/masculine side. In some outfits, I’ll mix both styles; and with other outfits, I’ll go clearly one way or the other. I think I just really like contrasts and variety in my style. That being said, I feel kind of torn when I see girls with super-feminine, Lovely style like Mara Ferreira, with her lipstick and gorgeous flowing curls and heels and dresses. I feel like a schlub! Or if I look at Caroline Joy or Brianna from the Constant Closet, I don’t feel simple/minimal/cool enough. What I try to remember is that it’s FUN to get inspiration from lots of places. It’s totally cool for me to go super minimal one day and throw on a vintage-inspired floral dress the next day. I try to remember that Instagram is all about inspiration and appreciating our differences. Same thing with body image: I purposefully seek out women to follow that are my size, plus women that are smaller than me and women that are larger than me. No one way is the “right” or most beautiful way, our DIVERSITY is what makes us beautiful. PS congrats on having a BOY!!! I’m biased because all I’ve had is one boy so far so it’s all I know, but boys are AWESOME!! And PPS black and white gingham forever. You’re right that it’s classic and timeless (and I hope it is because I have like four black and white gingham outfits that I can’t wait to bust out this summer haha!).
So good Tara! I’ve learned a lot from the concept of “I can appreciate it, but I don’t have to have it.” So I can appreciate her style, but it doesn’t have to be my style. It’s freed me to really stick with what works for me.
Oh Karen. I love this, too. You’re speaking my language! I turned forty last year, and have three under four (for a few more weeks). I am plugged in. I am and want to continue to feel relevant and to get cultural references and to have a closet that serves my needs and feels up-to-date. But.
I don’t have the skin of a twenty-something.
I don’t have the midsection of someone without kids.
I don’t have the lifestyle of a student.
I don’t have the perspective of someone just starting out.
I don’t have the time or desire (or budget) to chase trends.
And I am okay with that. I do not begrudge anyone who does or has the above. Good for you, not for me. Take what works, and let go of the rest!
Also: I love gingham for spring. I find it much easier to wear than dainty florals (which I love on OTHER people).
So good Rebecca! It feels good to embrace what works for ME and not make choices based on what works for THEM.
When I found out I was having boy twins (after a girl) I was also disappointed. I loved all of my daughter’s clothes and really wanted to reuse them. But I love my boys so much and can’t imagine our family without them.
My only infant boy tip is that when changing his diaper, cover it up! My boys peed every single time we changed them, and they can launch it far even from a small age.
I think that’s how its going to be for me as well. I’m sure once he’s here I’ll be so happy to have a boy, and I do have a friend that’s getting all of our hand me downs so it’s been fun to see her little girl wearing things. 🙂