30 Days of Summer Style Day 9: Chick Fil A Tantrums

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This top is an Eileen Fisher blouse that I thrifted a few months ago. I do really like it, but it’s super long so I think I might hem it up a bit, and maybe even sew a split up the middle so I can tie it at my waist… if I ever get the motivation ha! I do super love the quality of all of Eileen Fisher’s clothing. Obviously the price point reflects that, but of the few pieces I do have they are all made of the softest, most comfortable fabrics.

We had Physical Therapy for Ella and Rosie this morning, and we met our therapist at the park so I knew I wanted to keep things “park appropriate.” This is an easy outfit that allows me to run after the girls if I need to… and I did ha!

If I’m being honest, while I’m thankful for the therapists we’ve had for Ella and Rosie (technically Rosie is the one who qualified since she had a stage four brain bleed when she was born), now that they are finally walking I’m just ready to be done. I know they still have a lot of “growing” to do in their gross motor skills, but I selfishly just want to finally move on from their premature birth and the many sessions/appointments that have come with it.

But this isn’t really about me is it? Motherhood rarely is. I’ve come to realize that being a good mom isn’t about having/achieving a “normal, well adjusted child” (I put that in quotes because what does that even look like?), it’s about admitting where your kid is struggling and doing what’s necessary to help them succeed as best as they are able. It’s about letting go of pride, and admitting when we need to adjust the way we’ve been parenting our children. It’s about not always labeling behaviors as a phase, but realizing there is something deeper going on. I’ve had to do all of these things over the last couple of years. I’ve had to admit to myself that my lack of consistency was creating certain outcomes in my girls’ behaviors, I’ve had to finally admit that the twins needed more intensive therapy, David and I have had to have the hard conversations about how our differences in parenting needed to be more aligned. It’s been one pride stripping experience after another.

I remember one moment in a Chick Fil A: I had always pridefully thought my kids were exempt from throwing massive temper tantrums in public places (hahahaha!). Rosie (sweet, cuddly Rosie who we’ve affectionately nicknamed “the lover”) decided to prove me wrong. She threw the loudest, most epic tantrum when she had to leave the play place to come eat. I’m not kidding when I say every person in that restaurant was staring at us in shock. When I realized that she wasn’t going to calm down, I started to pack up to leave but when Kit found out we were leaving she began to angrily throw her food across the restaurant. I was so beyond mortified. I was crying, I was trying to gather everything together and pick up two tantruming children (bless Ella who was calmly sitting and eating her food). All of a sudden I saw this woman approaching me and I was terrified. I thought for sure she was coming to call me out about how my kids were acting. But that sweet breath of fresh air came over and said, “what can I do? How can I help?” I asked if she could watch my stuff so I could get the girls in the car, and when I came back after doing so she had packed up all of my things, had put my food in to go bags and was waiting at the door to hand everything to me. She looked at me with such understanding and said “we’ve all been there, you’re doing a great job.” That beautiful woman blessed me beyond understanding that day. I was ready for judgment and she gave me kindness. She allowed me to lose my pride in the most dignified way possible and I will never forget her.

But you know what? That was a come to Jesus moment for me because I realized that I had some soul searching to do. While I know that it’s normal for 2 and 4 year olds to throw tantrums, I also realized that I had grown lazy in my parenting. YES I was deep into the exhaustion of my first trimester, YES I knew that my kids were not the only ones who have thrown tantrums in a restaurant, but deep down I knew that some changes needed to happen.

Like I said above, being a good mom isn’t about whether or not your kid threw the tantrum… it’s about being willing to do the soul work to figure out if adjustments need to happen.

It’s hard you know. Letting go of pride is freaking hard… and kids have a way of exposing you in your most raw form to what feels like the entire world.

I never knew how crazy hard it would be to enter the parenting world. I also never knew how fulfilling it would be. It’s true that the hardest things in life are the most fulfilling. And I have never struggled with anything as I have done with motherhood. It’s a daily feeling of being in over my head, and hoping I’m not messing my kids up for good. I’m so thankful that I can turn to the Holy Spirit for comfort and guidance, and I’m also really thankful for this season of struggle. Because I know that it will all be worth it in the end. I know that I’ll have done something really worth doing.

And on the days when another PT appointment feels like such a burden, I can remember why I’m doing it… and I can remember that it’s in the letting go that growth happens.

If you’re in this with me, you are not alone! We’ve all been there, and you’re doing a great job.

Outfit Details:

To see the rest of my “30 Days of Summer Style” series go here

Top, Thrifted Eileen Fisher (sustainable) | Similarish here (sustainable)

Shorts, Pink Blush Maternity (sold out) | Similar here | Non Maternity Option in linen (sustainable) | Non Maternity Option in cotton (sustainable)

Shoes, Madewell | More affordable here

Motherhood Pendant, GLDN (sustainable)

Earrings, thrifted | Similar here (sustainable)

Purse, Helen Kaminski (sustainable) | More Affordable Here

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