So lately I’ve been having a hard time finding contentment when it comes to my home.
First of all, I want to put the disclaimer out there that I love my house. When we were searching for houses last year this was the only house that we looked at (we looked at a ton) that really spoke to me and made me feel 100% confident in putting an offer on it.
With that said, we bought it knowing we would eventually want to do some upgrades… and knowing that we wouldn’t be able to do them right away.
And this is where the struggle comes in.
It is so so so SO easy to go on Instagram and see everyone’s beautiful homes. They’re all freshly renovated and painted and they look so freaking charming.
And then I look at my blue kitchen with my honey wood cabinets and just pine for the day when we can at least paint it a nice neutral color.
But even painting isn’t in the cards for us right now.
So I just have to wait.
And waiting is hard.
It doesn’t help that our old house was lovingly poured into for seven years so that it was just so completely us.
But David and I decided early on in our marriage that our priority wasn’t going to be stuff…
which means that we have to deal with the orange floral couch until we can save up enough money to buy a new one with cash.
Same for new kitchen cabinets and a new bathroom.
Dealing with the “consequences” of that decision wasn’t hard at our old place when all we really needed to do to bring out the natural charm was a good, fresh paint job.
Our new house is so eighties. And my style aesthetic is vintage with a modern twist.
Those things really don’t mesh well.
But I’m learning that even though it’s easy to compare our house to the myriad of cute houses on Instagram and Pinterest, it’s also really important to learn contentment even when our external circumstances don’t meet our expectations.
In other words, I don’t need a white kitchen to feel contentment. I don’t need a finished laundry room to feel satisfied.
What I do need is love and light and relationship.
And I have those things in abundance.
So if I have little hands waiting to give me a hug every morning then I really don’t need that subway tile.
At least that’s what I remind myself of.
It’s a process guys. Contentment is not something that is readily available. Nor is it something that is easy to keep. But I’m trying to fight for it. I’m trying to wear it confidently so I don’t whittle away my days always wishing for something that I don’t have.
Tell me, do you struggle with this too? What are some ways that you have been able to find contentment, even when it doesn’t come easy. Let me know in the comments below!
Until next time,
Did you see my latest video?
Outfit Details:
My Dress: Old from Parc Boutique. Almost Exact (and on sale!).
Kit’s Dress: Thrifted. Similar.
I completely get this. Aesthetics are so important to and my surroundings are too. We bought our house 7 years ago knowing we’d need to redo the kitchen and bathrooms at some point, but they are totally functional (and not hideous), so it seems wasteful to spend money on them. One day, but just not our priority right now…
Yes that’s exactly where we’re at too Dacy! As much as I would like to, we just have other things that we’re prioritizing right now.
Love this story line. Mistake is, I moved into my husbands home. He lived ther 3 years before we married. We’ve done upgrades, but I still don’t feel settled. I’ve been here almost 11 years & now the house in on the market. I feel most content when I don’t have clutter in my space & head, so decluttering & organizing is my hobby. Guess, that’s how I stay content. Too, adding & having a few of my favorite things, makes me content. And, of course my 2 boys & their hugs. ? Lastly a daily gratitude journal??!
That’s how it was at our old place, but fortunately David hadn’t done a thing to the place so I got to make it my own. 🙂 That was back when we had two incomes and had more money to put into the place. Now that I’m a stay at home mom, we have to be much more choosy in where we spend money! I definitely am on a constant decluttering mission! I love the idea of a daily gratitude journal! In fact, journaling in general is such a good idea, and I need to do a better job of prioritizing it.
This is always a struggle for me! Especially with the beautifully curated homes on instagram showing me the possibilities. But we have a daughter soon to be going into college and we have other priorities as well. It’s hard to keep in mind that it’s our choices that we are sticking to when those white walls and tile call to you! I have to remind myself it’s all a matter of perspective!
That’s the hardest part for sure! It totally is a matter of perspective though! And how blessed your daughter will be that you prioritized her education over white walls and tile. 🙂
yes! yes, yes, yes!! lately there’s been so much bouncing around about “being true to yourself” and it’s easy to feel like “being true to ourselves” means that everything external (our outfits and makeup and our homes and cars and INSTAGRAM FEEDS, can I get an amen?) needs to fit in with how we see ourselves in our inside. well guess what? who doesn’t see themselves as a hot millionaire? That doesn’t make you one! and I feel that! I have things I have to sacrifice. I would LOVE to have an amazing instagram feed – but that doesn’t define me and it ISN’T who I am! recognizing that it doesn’t define us – whether it’s amazing or terrible – it isn’t us and in the long run doesn’t define us or make us who we are! the faster we can let go of that, the better!
Such a great point Lottie! Like you said, how we WANT to reflect ourselves in our external surroundings doesn’t always agree with what we are ABLE to reflect. And you’re right that it doesn’t define us! It’s so easy to get caught up in all of that silliness, but what does define us in the legacy we leave behind in the people that we loved and who love us.
Absolutely. Totally. Yes. Get it. You’re spot on when you describe it as a process. I always think of the Apostle Paul, who said he had *learned* to be content – not lessons I want but so necessary 🙂
So good Kayla! Contentment definitely has a learning curve and I find that some seasons are easier than others.
I am right there with you, Karin. I struggle with my home for many reasons, and it can be so hard to find contentment sometimes. We did not sink a lot of money into our temporary shop apartment, because well it’s temporary. Plus, when we move out, a wall will be removed along with cabinets and appliances. While we decided to be more frugal for long term purposes, it is hard to find contentment with the present.
It’s the waiting that’s hard isn’t it? That’s where I struggle. If I know it’s around the corner I have a much easier time than when there’s this big unknown of when it’s going to happen.
So with you on the house… my kitchen especially. It’s at such an “inbetweeny” stage. For some reason, I have more trouble with transitions. I wish it could be all not done or all done. blah.
I totally agree! My personality is to just go, go, go until it’s done so when it’s in limbo it’s REALLY hard to handle!
We’ve lived in our farmhouse for just under four years now and I’m just only now feeling like the contentment is coming easier. I wholeheartedly believe that it is something you have fight for, with small everyday decisions. I’ve found myself framing it as being in it for “the long haul”. Acknowledging and embracing the fact that I don’t wish to “have it all done” — because that would mean the product or end result is more important than the path it takes us to get there. Somedays are harder than others still, and you are absolutely not alone.
You’re so right Laura! It really is baby steps and some days are much harder than others! And gosh, you are so right about honoring the process and not just rushing the end goal. I REALLY struggle with that.