Hello my dear friends! I wanted to have a little chat about something today.
I’m going to be taking a little break until next Fall. I’m not sure yet if it will be a total break or if I’ll still do things like outfit roundups here or there… I’ll decide in the moment what feels right. I do have a few denim guides I want to get up for you guys (1 new and a couple updates) so you can still expect to see those, but other than that you won’t be seeing any more “formal” blogging from me for awhile. And my Instagram will probably become more of just little real life snap shots for awhile.
I’m not doing well at life right now… I haven’t been for a long time as you all well know, but we’ve recently been doing some trial and error with the kids medications to see if they need to be on both of the medications they are on or just one. It’s been a terrible time to be honest… I’m obviously not going to go into detail because I respect my kids’ right to privacy, but suffice to say it been incredibly hard on me and them. We’re doing one at a time so it’s something that’s going to take months to figure out and I’m so exhausted just thinking about the long days we have ahead of us (potentially).
My perimenopause symptoms have also gotten so intense in the past six months that I feel like I’m literally losing my mind. I talked with my Dr. a couple of months ago about hormone replacement and she prescribed some for me, but I’ve been too nervous to pick them up from the pharmacy until this week. This past week my anxiety and brain fog were so bad I couldn’t function and I’ve found myself crying off and on every day for no reason. I finally made the decision on Tuesday to go pick up my prescription and start taking them. I’ve officially been on them for four days now and I feel a tiny bit better so far. I haven’t cried today so that’s a plus, and I’m hopeful that things will continue to get better the more my body adapts to them.
Something’s got to give though. I need to be there for my family right now more than anything. I had no idea Perimenopause was going to be like this, and I had no idea I’d be having to navigate these struggles with my kids while dealing with these horrific hormonal struggles. I’ve always been a worker. I’ve always been someone who always needed to be productive so I feel so lost viewing my role as mom as the being the thing that fulfills that need in me. On top of that, in this economy it’s a weighty decision to take time off here especially when more and more we’ve been living paycheck to paycheck thanks to the growing medical costs in our family.
And that brings me to my final reason for taking some time off: I need to be less of an influencer for a little while, because money really is tight for us right now. I know that sounds counterintuitive since I do make money on here, but something that isn’t really talked about is how much money influencers have to spend to create content. And I just need a break from that. I need to do a spending freeze so we can get caught up on some medical bills and we want to get one of our kids a full psych evaluation that costs thousands because of course insurance doesn’t cover it. Our van is on its last legs too so we’ll be adding a car payment soon and… yeah I’m spiraling now thinking about our finances
I will still accept gifting because with my ADHD trying to do a full on spending freeze leaves me massively vulnerable to a huge binge spend which is not what our family needs right now. And side note, if you also have ADHD or suspect you do, trying to do a spending freeze cold turkey is probably one of the worst things you can do. You need to just try to bring things back a notch… like I’ll only buy one thing a day, or one thing a week, one thing a month, etc.
Anyway, gifting will satisfy that dopamine itch so I can stick to my freeze. I’ll also still accept collaborations because the money is so helpful right now, but I do intent to stay pretty quiet. I haven’t taken such a long break since I was pregnant with the twins and I feel a little nervous about it, but like I said before… something’s got to give. I tend to live in pretend world where I’m capable of doing everything I want to do and as a result everyone suffers. I’m choosing to live in reality where I’m actually capable of doing very little right now and I have four children who are relying on me to be there for them.
So yeah, I’m sad to say goodbye for now. But I’m sure I’ll see you around – I’ll for sure see you for some denim guides soon and I’ll see you on Instagram if you so desire.
Until next time,
Karin
