If you’re an older reader, you may remember that at the start of my fall capsule I was really struggling with body issues.
I was still breastfeeding at that point and I wasn’t losing weight like I thought I would… or like I was told I would. Plus, I had just started Truncation a couple of months earlier and I felt the fact that my pictures were being put on the internet for the masses (a.k.a my loyal readers) to see.
It helped me so much to put it down in words, because to be real and honest with you, it’s not something that I felt I was “allowed” to talk about in real life. I’ve always been on the thinner side, so I felt guilty about feeling bad about the extra weight I put on during pregnancy and afterwards. Besides that, as new mothers, we’re supposed to just embrace our new bodies because of the miracle that we now have in the form of our child right??
What a lot of people didn’t know, including friends and family, is that I’m not naturally thin (although I am naturally smaller boned). I was when I was younger, but when I hit my twenties that all changed for me. What a lot of people didn’t know is that before I got pregnant I worked to stay thin. In fact, I was rather hard on myself. I tried to eat as healthy as I possibly could and work out intensely as often as possible and I really struggled inwardly when I “messed up.”
So when I got pregnant, it was really hard on me to lose the control that I thought I had. Pregnancy was really hard on me and I found that the only foods I could stomach were really, really unhealthy foods. Plus, I was so sick for most of it that working out wasn’t an option. Then when I did finally feel better I found out I had preeclampsia, and my midwife didn’t want me to do anything overly strenuous.
Once Kit was born, I was still living in that pre-pregnancy head space and was doing intense workouts and trying to eat as healthily as possible, so when I realized that I’m one of those women that hangs onto their weight while breastfeeding it devastated me. I assumed I would be able to control my weight as I always had.
You see, what I didn’t realize was that my problem wasn’t my weight. My problem was that I had been assuming that being thin was what made me… me. I had always been the thin girl. So when that started to become harder and harder to maintain, I pushed myself harder and harder so that I would still be that girl.
But you know what? Around the time that I put my winter capsule together, I realized that my weight is actually not what makes me who I am.
I think it is important to live healthfully and to exercise, but the average women can’t force her body to be something it simply isn’t.
I’m never going to look like I did in high school and you know what? That’s okay.
In other words, I realized that I don’t need to wear a size two in order to feel good about myself.
In fact, I started to realize that I needed to approach my health like I was approaching my capsule wardrobe:
It’s okay to not get it right all of the time.
It’s okay to not be perfect.
Make mistakes… embrace them because they are part of the whole process.
Take baby steps toward an overall goal.
And if you are making a conscious decision to eat a gloriously unhealthy treat, go for the highest quality treat you can find. Then relish every moment of it.
My point?
Body issues can be so controlling.
They can make your day… or they can break it. They can make you feel so unworthy. But really? We’re so much more than a number on the scale. We can be successful, hardworking, intelligent women and not wear a size two.
I’m learning to let go of that need to look how I think I should and learning to embrace how I look today, tomorrow, next week, no matter my weight.
I’m choosing to focus on the fact that I’m a kick ass woman who has mountains to conquer.
And if you struggle with this too, I pray that you’ll be able to let it go (insert Frozen theme song here) and start living your own awesome life that isn’t hindered by the number of inches on your hips.
Until next time,
Such a true post. We change constantly and sometime all we can do is accept that we’ll always be changing. And buy clothes that fit and make us feel good!
Definitely Dacy! And I’m tired of fighting against it. Acceptance brings so much more peace!
I have struggled with my body image all of my life. It wasn’t until my batteries died on my scale that I finally stopped weighing myself everyday, and focused more on how I felt in my clothes. I am embracing my body more now that I have come to terms with the fact that I will never be as small as I was in high school again. It also helps when you have clothes that flatter you!
That’s so good Erin! I think this is why they say that women get more confident as they get older… learning to enjoy life and not focus on things we can’t control only comes with age.
I have been struggling with body confidence lately. I tried to film a YouTube video and trashed it when I saw what I look like right now. I hope to get to the point where I can accept what I see and not worry about what people think. Thanks for sharing!
Oh that makes me so sad Marette! Next time post it with pride! It’s so hard, but I find that people want to see a variety of body types on social media instead of only the one that seems to be the norm.
I started following your blog because you weren’t a size 2. I work hard to be healthy-food and exercise. I’ll never be a 2. I just keep at my lifetime commitment to exercise and enjoy life. Sometimes I’m pissed my pants don’t look so great on like other women, but I am who I am.
Thank you Alley! That means a lot to me. And I feel you! I think my low moments are when I put on a pair of jeans that look completely different on me than a lot of other bloggers. But there is so much more to life than worrying about that!
This is really inspiring! I can imagine how gutted you felt but good for you for realising that you could still be happy in your own body! I’m currently on my own weight loss journey; I have never been naturally slim and injuries and illness have caused me to gain weight through my teens and so now I am trying to start my 20s being as healthy and fit as possible! I struggle to be happy with my body when I know I still have a lot of weight to lose but I try to reassure myself with a healthy diet and that’s all I can!
Thanks for a great, inspiring post! I wish you luck in the future!
Being healthy is all that matters Amy! I’m so happy that you are learning this at such a young age. That shows maturity beyond your years. Sending hugs your way!
Body confidence after baby was a problem for me too. It was just a lot of change, and it all happened very quickly, and at a time when I was already going through a lot of other changes. I made a promise to myself to wait 5 years, and then reassess. If I still didn’t like what was going on after all the changes, then I would be ok with making some cosmetic changes. 5 years later, and I’m starting to love my body again. It’s not the same, but I’m much less critical of it than I used to be.
I think that’s just it Jess. It was like, all of a sudden I looked in a mirror and I didn’t recognize myself! But that’s such great advice. While baby causes our body to change so quickly, finding our new norm is a much slower process.
I love this post. I love the vulnerability. Thank you for sharing. I struggle with the opposite which makes me feel I can never truly express it. I had been hard on myself for being sick and not gaining weight. Now I am starting to just love my body where it is at and continue to get better. You look gorgeous and thank you again for sharing.
At the end of the day, that’s still a weight insecurity and so you are absolutely entitled to struggle. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about that!
I completely understand where you are coming from. I’m currently pregnant with my first child and I have been feeling insecure with the weight I have gained. But you look amazing! <3 Thank you for sharing 🙂
kristinacamille.com
It’s scary Kristina, and all I can tell you is just to give yourself grace… not only to recover, but to let yourself struggle.
And congratulations!
This is such an important topic. One of the things I love about capsule wardrobes is that there are so many different kinds, no kids, mommy-to-be, post-pregnancy, and everywhere in between. I think this variety is GREAT because people can find others who look like they do, or have a similar style! While I used Un-Fancy for a lot of my inspiration since I’m young 20s, I also found my own style by just looking at tons of other blogs (including yours!) and piecing it together. I’ll be revealing my spring capsule this Friday if you’d like to check it out 🙂 keep up the great work, and I love your honesty and vulnerability!
Well said Vivianne! I also originally found inspiration in Un-Fancy, until I realized I do NOT look good in her style haha! Like you, I’ve now pieced things together and settled into my own unique style. 🙂
Been struggling with this since my teens. I’ve been eating quite healthy for the past couple years now, no weight loss. Been trying to get into an exercise regimen for the past year or so (I hate working out, no matter what I try), clothes don’t fit any different. I’m just starting to realize that it may be tied to stress (work-related) and anxiety and that I need to take care of my mental health, because no matter what I do externally if my “inside” isn’t healthy then nothing will change. It’s frustrating and discouraging at times but it’s an ongoing journey. Thank you for your honesty and hopeful message.
Yes, stress can play a huge part and I think that it’s DEFINITELY part of being healthy!
I was also one of those women who did NOT lose weight breastfeeding. In fact, I gained it. Then, with my second pregnancy, I was already heavier, and all the complications, including the NICU after caused stress, which caused massive weight gain. I gave myself permission not to care until the babies were healthy. I then didn’t really pay any attention until last May. I was the heaviest I’ve ever been, and not only that, buy my blood pressure was really high. So, I realized I had to make a change. It was mostly for health, but also I feel better about myself now. I will never be a size 2 either, but I’m finally not uncomfortable in my skin. However, it’s always a work in progress.
Bravely and beautifully written, Karin. I’m reminded of a quote from Sarah Silverman, “Mother Theresa didn’t walk around complaining about her thighs. She had shit to do.”
Very nicely done. Thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you for sharing this, Karin.
Thanks for sharing your personal struggles with body issues. It’s hard to not have issues with our bodies, but there is no such thing is perfect and we shouldn’t be ourselves up about it. And the most important thing is to have a healthy body.
I majorly struggle with body image issues. I think its great that you wrote about this!
It’s great to read about this. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have some amount of body image issues. I’m not a mom myself, but I read something interesting: It was a mom who realized that she had really embraced her pregnant body because it was creating her baby, but then once the baby was born she all of a sudden hated her body instead of appreciating what it did. I think a lot of women feel like that, unfortunately.
I am so glad you were able to discover that you matter no matter what! Body issues can be so controlling, glad you told them off!
Preach. My body and I struggle to get along, and I haven’t even had kids yet! I so appreciate you writing this — and just so you know, one of the things that drew me to your blog was the fact that you look like a normal person! An adorable, stylish, REAL person that I could relate to. Thankful for you!
Thank you for sharing this. As women, I think we all struggle with body issues from
Time to time (or all the time for some). Whats really important is learning who you are, embracing it and loving it. It sounds like you are on the right track. 😉
This was such a beautiful post! I am also not one fo those women who loses weight easily while breastfeeding, and pregnancy and childbirth really does put such a number on your body. I’ve had four babies in less than 6 years… my poor body doesn’t even know what it’s “supposed” to look like anymore.
I finally have come to the realization that I have carried and birthed four healthy babies and dang, that’s amazing. truthfully, all things considering, I think I look pretty good. There’s always room for improvement, but I shouldn’t’ let the way I look define me. Thank you so much for your wonderful thoughts!