I have decided to start several series here on the blog.
YES, this is a capsule wardrobe blog and that’s not going to change at all.
But, I also like to share my heart with you on things that aren’t necessarily related to capsules.
SO. Wednesday’s are now going to be dedicated to random musings.
I’m calling it Lifestyle Wednesdays.
And if that’s not your jam, then you can just pick back up with us on Mondays and Fridays.
No hard feelings, I promise!
What better way to start than with an entry I wrote in my journal a week ago. It’s pretty close to my heart, but I felt like I needed to share it with you:
There is this truth that has been nagging and nagging at me for awhile now.
I haven’t been able to put it into words…
it has just been this vague concept rolling around in my brain.
But I think it can be summed up with this: being a mother is hard.
And no, I’m not talking about the physical act of taking care of baby, although that can be hard as well.
I’m talking about how being a mother changes who a woman is at her core.
In a way, it diminishes our ability to be seen as anything else.
And it can chip away slowly,
slowly,
slowly at the part of us that existed before we became a mother.
I think it’s because we give ourselves so completely to our children… everything that we are and hope to be.
We do this so completely because how can we not?
Every breath, every instinct now crystallizes on this beautiful life that we have been given.
And it’s as easy as breathing: our entire being turns to face this child.
We willingly sacrifice whatever we need to in order to be a mother to these precious little lives.
And then all of a sudden, you wake up and realize that through all of this sacrifice and love you are in danger of losing parts of yourself that were good and beautiful and that made you unique and wonderful.
Our children deserve our sacrifice.
They deserve to be loved with every fabric of our being as if they are just as much a part of us as our lungs, our hearts.
But, in the midst of all of that sacrifice those bits that make us who we are, that make us unique and special, they ALSO deserve to be seen and cherished.
Because here is the truth: we are MORE than mothers.
Even though our entire being is hopelessly in love with our children, we are still more.
We are also more than any relationship we are a part of: wife, daughter, sister…
We are painters, writers, business woman, adventurers… capsule wardrobers…
And you know what?
Our children need to see that their mothers have passions that they pursue.
They need to see that it’s important to be seen.
They need you to show them how to sacrifice, but not lose yourself… how to be strong and constant.
And in the middle of the diapers, and spit up, and tantrums, and all of the things that make up our daily routines… the things that make us STRONG, we can hold our heads high knowing that these things are a part of who we are, but not the sum of who we are.
Until next time,
Photos taken by Christina Rambo
I am all for Lifestyle Wednesdays 🙂 As mothers, especially stay-at-home mothers, we are completely wrapped up in everything associated with our children, and we need a reminder that it’s not just okay to have passions, but to whole-heartedly pursue them. It doesn’t mean we love our children any less. If anything, it means that we love them enough to know it’s important for them to be see their mother as a well-rounded person. Thank you for being brave enough to share these thoughts with us
Thanks Lauren! It’s encouraging to hear that. 🙂 And so true! I think we love our children MORE by not focusing entirely on them. Thank you for your kind words!
This was very inspiring, Karin. It is true that we surrender ourselves to bring a mom and I agree that we need to find a way to still be ourselves. Our children do need to see Mom being who God made her to be along with being Mom. We have purpose. While raising strong, godly children is a part of our purpose, we should never lose our God given purpose of using our talents to further the kingdom.
Thank you Rhiannon! I completely agree with everything you said.
Wooo lifestyle Wednesdays! I just found your blog today and I can’t wait to explore. I’m not a mother (yet), but this post is very enlightening and really ties in with self-care. How you see yourself is so important, and also directly related to how others see you!
I’m so glad you found me Erin and that you like lifestyle Wednesdays! self care is so, so important!
Karin! This is gorgeous. I need this reminder every single day. You have so captured something I want to say, but have lacked the clarity to express. Thank you so much for this.
Thanks Christen! You kind of inspired me to write it based on some of our chats. 🙂
Yes, I think mothers do this naturally and effortlessly; unfortunately it’s hard not to do it. It definitely takes being mindful of life to be able to give to ourselves, too. I like the idea of Lifestyle wednesdays!!
I completely agree Elsa! Mindfulness is so important. And thank you! I’m so glad you like the idea!
I like lifestyle wednesdays and I like the fact you talk about other things than clothes! I don’t have children of my own yet but I am at a stage where I wonder what type of mother I will be one day and how I will manage being the best mum I can be whilst not ‘loosing’ my identity completely.
Thanks Stephanie! That encourages me! It is definitely a struggle, but it’s doable with a little gumption. 🙂
I’m excited for your new Lifestyle Wednesdays series! I’m not a mother, but I still appreciated your words and thoughts, just based on observations I’ve made of friends.
I’m so glad Crystal! And thank you for your sweet words. 🙂
Love this.
Thanks Jackie! Miss you. Hopefully I’ll see you soon!
First of all – looking forward to your Lifestyle Wednesdays! This was a tremendously beautiful post. I am not a mother yet, but I know many and it’s true – children need to see their mothers be passionate about more than just their children. Children are amazing and precious and worth sacrificing for, but the mothers who forsake all aspects of their previous identities and become a mother and nothing else soon become dissatisfied and the children grow up in a home where the world centers around them.
Thank you sharing your thoughts! Love your writing, as usual. 😉
Thank you Cassandra! I’m so glad you’re looking forward to them. You are so sweet! I so agree with you about children growing up and feeling like they are the center of attention. I used to work in a university admission office so I’ve seen what that can do to kids. 🙂
I can totally relate. I have 5 children, aged 7 and under… and it’s so easy to let that become my identity. But there’s so much more that I am. Thanks for the reminder.
Wow Sheena! You are a hero in my book. I have just one and it’s so hard sometimes. Keep up the good work!
This. Everything about this. So wonderfully put – so true. I have been a mother for almost 13 years now (I can hardly believe that it’s been so long) and I love my daughter more than words can ever describe, but now that she is getting older I can finally start being more myself again – just me and the things I want instead of giving it all to her all the time. It is true that we lose a lot of who we are when we become mothers. And we will never be the same again. And our children deserve all of us, like you said, but it is important to not forget that we are someone with needs as well. Thank you!
P.S. Hope this makes sense!
I love that you say that now that you are getting older you can be yourself again. Sometimes I forget that raising young children is just a season. At some point she’ll grow up and be her own person and I’ll be able to reconnect with myself. And yes! It absolutely makes sense. 🙂
Good thoughts here! It is hard to be seen as anything other than a mother once you’re a mother…maybe unless you’re a career woman. I’m not sure because I’m not a career woman. I’m a stay at home mom blogger. But most people don’t even know about that part of my life. So to most people I’m sure that I’m “just a mother”. 🙂
Yes! I get that “just a mother” mindset, when really it’s a hard, hard job!
This is beautiful and I’m loving your site! Came across it from the Grow Your Blog Group on Facebook!
-Lee Anne
http://lifebylee.com/
Thank you Lee Anne! You are so sweet!
I love this! What a great reminder that all of us are more than mothers and that it is okay to have other aspirations. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Thank you Cara!
Yes, life is hard and being a mother is even harder…Thanks for sharing your thoughts and struggles…your children are so so blessed to have you!
Thank you Vet! That is an extremely kind thing to say. 🙂
So timely for me to read. I was having one of those days recently if you know what I mean. It’s so hard to have those feelings without feeling resentful and then guilty and then back to square one. It’s like chasing your tail!
I just always have to remind myself how blessed I am to 1) have all my babies, and 2) that they’re alive and healthy and a joy to love 🙂
Yes, I agree, motherhood can be hard. It is also such a blessing. I struggled as a young wife and mother with finding my own identity. I ended up going back to college while my children were little because I needed to find out who I was. Although others thought I was selfish because I was pursuing my dreams and not able to devote 24/7 to being a stay-at-home mom for a few years, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. Having found a passion of my own gave me the ability to be a better wife and mother in the long run!
I think its WONDERFUL that you went and got a degree! I feel so sad that others thought you were selfish. It’s not selfish at all to teach your children to pursue their dreams even if it means sacrifices have to be made. You are a great mother!
Love your post! i’ve been where you are and now I’m swimming in the rocky waters of teenage years. It gets easier and harder – oh the conundrum of motherhood! You’re right though, through it all we have to remember who we were when we started on this journey and hold on tight to her, even if it’s only a little piece.
Oh the teenage years! I’m so scared to get there haha!
omg YES! This is something that I literally try to convey in its entirety on my whole blog! SERIOUSLY. And sometimes its even hard to do in blog form. Am I a “mommy blogger” if not every post is about my children? Am I a “fashion blogger” if I often post about motherhood. Oddly it makes me feel like I appeal to a very narrow audience, and I don’t think it should be so! Mothers are MORE! <3
Good for you for spreading this message on your blog. I think that’s great! And yes! We’re so much more. I think we might be the best multitaskers in the world!
call me simple – but i SO love that sweater jacket that you are wearing… 🙂
Thank you Andi!
This is beautiful and so true. I struggle daily with being a mom and also being more than that. It’s hard to blog or do my own things without mommy guilt creeping up. But it’s important to have a little part of you that stays you. Thank you for sharing!
Mommy guilt is SO real! I struggle with it daily as well! But my daughter is happy and healthy and that’s a win in my book!
You’re very right. I found it difficult to have an identities after my first baby. I got sick of being the second name on people’s phones – after my daughter’s. I didn’t matter anymore.
I’m over that now. Of course then you get mummy guilt but you can’t always win and I would much rather work and be an individual sometimes.
Yes! Definitely! Mom guilt can be so bad, but it’s worth it right?
Awwwww loving the lifestyle Wednesday:):) can’t wait for your next post xoxo
I’m so glad Courtney! Thank you!
So much YES to this. I couldn’t quite put it into these words but I recently write about fighting for my identity as more than a mum. This is perfect though & sometimes you just need it in someone else’s words. So, thank you. Xoxo