Summer Journal Volume One

Wow. It’s been forever. I’ve had these photos bookmarked for awhile and I’ve kept filing this post in the back of my head as a to do (that’s where my to do list lives), but it just kept getting pushed back because this summer has kept me rather busy so far.

If you missed any of my last few blog posts I posted this past spring, I mentioned that I was going to take a break this summer from posting. I’m really glad I have. Trying to manage life with 3 (probably 4) kids with ADHD while dealing with my own ADHD and maintaining this blog has always been a pretty big challenge for me and it’s made summer a time of survival with very little actual enjoyment. Taking time away from my blog this summer has allowed me to focus on being present with my kids and it’s brought back the enjoyment I’ve needed these past few years.

But I can’t give all the credit to my break either if we’re being honest. We’re all medicated now too so that makes a major difference ha! This is the first summer we’ve all been on Vyvanse and I’m now doing a hormone replacement pill for perimenopause and the combination of my anxiety meds, stimulant, and hormone replacement has been magical my friends. I have always been pro meds… dealing with chronic illness will do that to ya, but I’m even more pro meds now that I’ve experienced the beauty of life again that I had forgotten existed after the years of misery that perimenopause had been slowly chipping away from me. It’s like I’m me again and I will forever be grateful to modern medicine for giving me that back. On top of that, my kids are making incredible strides forward now that they are being medicated and the before and after changes are, quite honestly, astounding. There are moments where I feel so overwhelmed at the sheer volume of change the medication has brought to them, and if I’m being raw and honest with you there are times when I have to fight the bitterness that I wasn’t able to experience the relief that they are so obviously experiencing or the regret that I could have gone so much further or done so much better if I would have been given the same medications when I was a child. It’s a weird process to be reprocessing your own life through an ADHD lens for the first time all while raising your kids and making decisions about what’s best for them all at the same time.

But overall with my medicated brain and with their medicated brains I’ve been able to feel gratitude and joy for the first time in a really long time. I’ve been able to see things that are right in front of me and find enjoyment in them. I’ve been doing a LOT of gardening and the kids have been joining me almost every day. It’s been such a fun bonding experience and the fact that we all get to enjoy the fruits of our labor is such a fun way to learn and grow together. We’ve also been cooking a lot together and going to the beach… there’s been a lot that I honestly haven’t shared on social media and it’s been really refreshing to just live in the moment and not feel the need to share any of it.

I haven’t shared every outfit either which has been a huge shift for me – I went from sharing every outfit, every day without fail so sharing a couple of outfits a week and it’s been so refreshing. My desire to shop has drastically decreased and my love for smaller brands has risen to the forefront again. It’s not that I’m someone who loves to spend a ton of money on my clothes, I just have this deep rooted feeling that I want to spend my money where my heart is and my heart isn’t at Old Navy or Target. I’m loyal to a few bigger brands because of my history and relationship with them, but my heart really lies in seeking out the unique and special small shops and buying less so I can afford those more special pieces. I’ve found that part of myself again this summer because I haven’t felt so pressured to show new things all the time since I’m posting fewer outfits.

I think there’s a balanced rhythm that can be found to all of this. I’ve enjoyed the presence that I’ve found in posting less, BUT I’ve also missed my creative outlet and the feeling of contentment I get in sharing and connecting with all of you. I’ll still be taking things very slow this summer, but as fall kicks into gear in the next couple of months I think I’ll be looking for a slower rhythm on this platform. I want to find a way to be present here and present in my personal life, to honor my heart and my desires to be real to it while recognizing the challenges that you guys have in budgeting for real life needs and the extras like clothing etc.

Anyways. This was rather rambly wasn’t it? I guess you could just call this a collection. A collection of my thoughts, some photos as of late, and if you keep scrolling I did manage to round up some favorites that I’ve been loving over the last few months.

I’m not sure when I’ll be checking in again next so I hope you’ll all keep enjoying your summers and also that you’ll manage to find moments to be present with your loved ones.

Until next time,

Karin

My favorites from this past month: