To the Girls I’m Raising on International Women’s Day

I had a completely different blog post planned for today, but when I woke up this morning, social media very graciously reminded me that today is International Women’s Day. If there is one thing that 2023 taught me, it’s that women are worth fighting for… Girls are worth fighting for. We deserve to take up space, and we deserve to have a day to celebrate our worth.

I’m raising three girls. Three beautiful, intelligent, silly, unique, and neurodivergent girls. And so I wanted to take a pause today and share 10 lessons I’ve learned while raising them that I wish I would’ve known as a little girl… things I want them to know and believe to the very core of who they are:

1. Don’t be afraid to be who you are. Girls are taught so often that we need to look and act a certain way to be valuable, but we are all so unique. Some of us are assertive, some of us are gentle. Some of us are loud and some of us are quiet. Some of us love to get right in on the action while others are homebodies. There’s no one right way to be a girl. Cling to your true self, and don’t let anyone or thing take that away from you.
2. Allow other girls to be who they are. Celebrate their differences. Revel in the fact that you can learn something from other women. Support their interests while pursuing your own. Lift each other up and encourage each other. Live in harmonious community with other women, and reject the idea that we are in competition with each other. Cheer each other on with full sincerity.
3. Know your value and stand up for yourself. Learn to coexist with others by requiring and giving respect. Don’t let people talk down to you, and don’t let people make you feel stupid. You were born with the voice and purpose that only you can bring to the table and you are important to this world. Don’t settle for anything that makes you feel less than incredibly worthwhile.
4. Educate yourself. In whatever way that looks like for you. There’s no one way to learn, but it’s incredibly important as women to be educated. And not just what you’ll learn in school. Educate yourself about your body. Know what it’s doing and advocate to receive proper medical care.
5. You are not dramatic. You have a complex and rich view in the world. You have an amazing capacity to hold truth and emotion at the same time. That is nothing to be ashamed of. You are a nurturer and you are fierce. You have the ability to weep and to take action. There’s nothing dramatic about that… it’s pure light that the world needs and it should be honed not stopped.
6. Don’t stop being silly. Somewhere along the line women lose their silliness… there’s so much expectation, pressure, need for us to have our crap together that we lose our ability to be silly. But it’s so important. Life is hard. It brings so many ups and downs that you can’t control… and you’ll have a much easier time facing it head on if you can do a little awkward dance, speak in your weirdest voice, or make silly faces.
7. Your body is sacred. It’s not meant to look the same as anyone else’s… it’s also meant to change for the season that you are in. Don’t try to force it to be something that it’s not. Take care of it, love it, and treat it with so much respect.
8. Stop and smell the roses. When life gets crazy, when you feel as if you are coming apart at your seams. Stop. be mindful. Immerse yourself in nature, move in a way that feels good, do something you’re passionate about. Don’t feel as if you can’t take a break. That pressure to perform will always be there, it’s OK to hit pause.
9. And speaking of passions, pursue them all. You don’t have to fit into a box. You can be an oxymoron. You’re allowed to be outdoorsy, a bookworm, a geek, a makeup girly, and whatever you want to be. You don’t have to choose between those things… forget the Renaissance man, be a Renaissance woman.
10. And finally, always look to the bigger picture. There are so many seasons where you might feel like things are never going to change, like they’re never going to end… like things are always gonna be so impossible that you’ll never see those mountain highs. Don’t stop fighting. You WILL see those mountain highs. I promise you, you will. And the valleys you go through will only make you stronger, they’ll teach you to fight, show you your self worth. it’s OK to exist in the valleys. Yeah they really suck. And some days you’ll feel like you’re not gonna make it. But hold on because you will.

Until next time,

Karin