When Life Steals Your Joy

Hi friends. Welcome back to my Sunday Series! It’s been awhile since I sat down to write one of these posts. October was just absolutely nuts, and then to top it all with my daily capsule wardrobe posts… let’s just say we were living in chaos…

and speaking of chaos. I hate it. Like I really hate it. My personality loves order and predictability and chaos makes me feel unsafe more than almost anything else (a close second to losing control actually). And guess what? The Lord saw fit to give me three kids with sensory issues and our house is literally a vortex of chaos almost constantly (as I write this my husband is checking on a bit of chaos coming from the twins rooms). And friends? I’m not overexaggerating.

I told David the other day that I knew motherhood would be a difficult journey and I knew that it would be overwhelming at times, but I didn’t know it would feel like I’m in a constant state of feeling like a bomb is about to go off. If you have sensory kids then you know what a meltdown looks like… its all consuming, it takes over everything, and it’s loud. You can’t just filter it out because it takes managing. And when three are having sensory meltdowns all at the same time and there’s a little brother that thinks the game is to scream (ha!) it can feel like there is literally no joy to be found in motherhood.

This last year I’ve felt like that a lot. There have been more days than not where I’ve felt like I will never find joy again… that all I do is manage other people’s emotions and that there is nothing left for me. I’m just an empty shell after being sucked dry by my three very needy children.

But I’m learning something. I’m learning that I can be okay. I’m learning that not every season has to be filled with happiness, and that it’s okay to sit in the fog of overwhelm for little while.

Because God has not promised that life will always be good, that I’ll always feel safe and in control, and He hasn’t promised that things will always go well.

But He HAS promised:

that “as a father has compassion on his children so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust.” (Psalm 103:13-14)

and “out of His fullness we have all received grace upon grace freely given.” (John 1:16)

and that “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” (2 Peter 1:3)

He is with us, He has compassion on us, He gives His grace fully, and we already have what we need to live life with Him.

I’m learning that it’s okay to simply walk side by side with my Savior while I’m going through this season. I’m learning that He understands and has compassion for my lack of joy. And I’m learning that it’s okay to not have all the answers because He does.

Life can steal your joy. I think it has for a lot of us over the last couple of years. But our growth and relationship with God can grow even in spite of our trials.

I want to leave you with a word that I read in a devotional I’m doing by Ann Voskamp: God is always good, and I am always loved… even when what He gives you may appear ugly.

God has given me the gift of three beautiful daughters, but sometimes in the moments where meltdowns are back to back? That gift feels ugly. BUT God is always good, and I am always loved. God is always good, and you are always loved. He has given us what we need, and He knows the hardships we’re in. He walks with us comforting us along the way… always loving us and always good.

Until next time,

Karin