Hi friends! Welcome to a brand new year. Admittedly, I am coming back to this space later than I originally intended… for a host of reasons, but mainly that I was simply enjoying time with my family and felt in no rush to get back. But also… I have so much I want to say and I don’t know if I’ll be able to capture it all in words so I have felt hesitant to sit down and attempt it.
Let’s start with this: I am a very goal oriented person. And in many times, and in many ways it has been my downfall. I achieve my goals no matter what and I (unwillingly) stomp over people and, well, my own self in the process. I’m the girl that can get the job done, but I’m also the girl who doesn’t know when to stop.
Last year I worked, and I worked, and I worked until I was bone dry. I had one very specific goal and one sort of hazy goal.
The first goal: find the help my children need. Done. Accomplished. I fought and I clawed and I got my girls the appointments they needed, talked to the right school officials, and made a million phone calls.
The second (hazy) goal: run a blog that now provides an income for my family. And I did. I took on sponsorships, I did some hauls (albeit never consistently), I bought and accepted clothes to share and show.
And I crashed. At the end of November my body was done. I got very sick, had lost all energy and joy for life, and felt extremely disconnected from the very people I was attempting to help.
I found myself retreating, and wasting time on my phone instead of engaging with those people and being present in my life… and I also realized how much stuff I had accumulated “doing my job” and trying to find clothing that would work for my sensory kids.
I was forgetting things (really important things), I was running late for school pick ups, I constantly felt overwhelmed.
And then I decided to not be that way anymore.
I know. That sounds silly… but I did. I decided I was living in a way I didn’t even want to live, but I was doing it because I felt like that’s just how you move your life forward.
You work hard, you make more money, you buy the bigger house, etc. etc.
But in the midst of a year that felt very out of control, I allowed an outside message to carry me along instead of listening to my own desires for my life.
I let myself believe that I can have it all.
I believe that one of the most harmful things that social media perpetuates is the idea that you can have it all.
You can have a beautifully curated home filled with expensive furnishings, a luxury car, a designer wardrobe with a closet full of designer bags…
some people can. Most people can’t. Most people can’t have the beautifully curated home AND the expensive furnishings AND a luxury car AND a designer wardrobe AND designer bags.
This past fall, I found myself daydreaming about which luxury bags I was going to buy, future renovations for my home, and a new car on top of all of that (which happens to be the only thing we truly do need right now).
One day at the end of November, the day I decided to not be that way anymore, I was watching the stories of an influencer who’s style I absolutely adore… I was watching her share stories of all of the fancy parties she was attending and hosting for the holidays, the expensive presents she was buying for everyone, and the beautiful clothes she was wearing for all of it… and I found myself on the verge of purchasing a very expensive glittery dress.
And then it hit me –
where the heck was I going to wear that dress? I have zero fancy parties to attend or host. We spent our New Year’s Eve playing apples to apples with a side of HyVee door dash. Christmas day we spent in our PJ’s.
And I’m not blaming this influencer at all, but I do think there is a harmful system that pressures people to feel like they have to, well…
have it all.
So either you’re already wealthy enough to have all of those things, or you’re in debt portraying a life that isn’t really yours.
I don’t want to be a part of that.
I don’t have it all, but I do have enough… actually more than enough. But I’ve had a really hard time realizing that these last couple of years.
So I’ve decided to shift some things around. In my life, and on here.
First, I’m getting back to my roots of dabbling in minimalism. Three years ago I was very invested in minimalism, ethical fashion, and capsule wardrobes.
But circling back to my original point: I am a very goal oriented person.
One of the things my therapist has helped me to see is that sometimes it’s okay to just exist. The reason I stopped being so invested in those things is because I set too many unrealistic goals that ultimately made me feel not good enough. So I just moved away from them entirely.
My goal for this year is to pursue those things again in a way that feels organic and natural. I won’t label myself as anything, and I have zero goals set for what those things should look like moving forward.
But that does mean I’ve been purging like crazy (I’m selling about 2/3 of my wardrobe on Poshmark currently), I’ve let go of lots of stuff that I’ve very mindlessly spent money on this past year, I’ve reduced my spending at certain retailers I don’t feel the best about, I’m very gently looking into ways to incorporate more zero waist practices into our lives, and I’m very mindfully sifting through what it looks like to lead a slower life. I’ve also let go of other restricting practices I’ve held onto like counting calories/macros and strict workout regimens.
I’ve just started so I have no idea what this looks like long term, but I do know I still want to show up here. I still want to share style, my thoughts, some other passion subjects.
My goal is to limit myself to 1-2 blog posts a week. One outfit roundup, and one free post (style post, lifestyle post, passion post, etc.) – I will still send a newsletter, but I’m considering a monthly newsletter instead of a weekly one.
And Instagram. Oh Instagram how I loathe and love you. I love the community I have there, I love connecting with all of you and with other like minded bloggers, but I hate existing in a space that perpetuates ideologies I can’t get behind. So I’m not sure what I’m going to do about that. I have decided to take on less sponsorships… there are some brands I truly do love working with and purchase from frequently that I’ll still partner with in 2022, and if a small sustainable shop reaches out that I am really excited about I’ll consider a partnership. But I don’t know if I’ll still show up on Instagram every day like I did last year. I kind of want to get back to how I started – sharing (kind of) daily outfit posts, and maybe a few stories, but with no pressure to share every moment or to share a bunch of shoppable links.
I’ve also committed to being on my phone less around my kids so instead of taking a photo and uploading it right away to Instagram stories, I’ve been taking a few snaps and then uploading them once I have a moment away from the kids. I’ve also been posting early in the morning before the kids get up – and I plan to do my work at night after the kids go to bed… which will be doable now that I’m posting less and taking on fewer sponsorships.
So I guess all that to say, if you’re here for the style… don’t worry! It’s not going anywhere. I’ll also still share a variety of brands/pieces I’m loving… but you’ll be seeing a lot more repeats because I’m working with a lot less.
I don’t plan to change the substance of what I do here, but I do plan to change some of the methods.
And maybe I’ll throw in a few decluttering tips along the way.
Wow that got long… they always do when I just sit down to write. I’m a bit wordy if you couldn’t tell. I’m interested to hear if any of you are feeling the same way – if you are please leave a comment! I’d love to hear your perspective.
And with that, I’ll see you on Friday for my first outfit roundup of the year.
Until next time,
Karin
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