Finding Comfort in Silence & the In Between Spaces

With the increase in cooler days here in Minnesota, autumn seems right around the corner.

And I’m okay with that.

Sometimes I daydream about living in a warmer climate… especially come February when it feels like the snow and cold will never let up… but truthfully? I love my four seasons.

I love closing a chapter four times a year, and opening a new one. It gives me new energy, and something to look forward to.

But I’ll confess: it also sometimes makes me restless. Sometimes, knowing what’s just around the corner makes me itch to move things along. And I find myself living in a place of distraction instead of focusing on what’s in front of me.

I’m working on that.

I spoke about anxiety last week. I’ve been really mulling over the “why” behind it lately. I’m trying to really dig deep into what’s causing me to feel that way so that I can, perhaps, find healing from it.

That’s a complicated thing, I know, but one glaringly obvious cause of my anxiety is my iPhone. Not necessarily social media in it’s raw form (does that surprise you?), but the ability to access it constantly.

I’m old enough to remember the days before social media clearly, and I’m also old enough to remember the days before smart phones.

Which means that I can reflect back on my quality of life before I had these devices.

I can remember what it was like before Instagram and Facebook, and I can tell you honestly that these outlets have exponentially increased my anxiety and stress.

And it’s not for the reasons you may think… it’s not because of the comparisons to other people’s lives that social media inevitably causes. Although yes, sometimes those comparisons overwhelm me.

But rather, it’s that these comparisons are constantly available. Before, I had to log into a computer to view them. Now I can view them any time I have a second of silence…

And therein lies the problem. My iPhone has taken away my ability to find comfort in silence… to find comfort in the in between spaces of my life.

The worst part? I let it.

I allowed it to retrain my brain to need constant stimulation.

I’m working on that.

I see it now, as I reflect back on the different sources of my anxiety… I see how I allowed it to take away my quiet and rest.

Because you see, I am not a victim. I allowed it. I didn’t set necessary boundaries.

So I’m working on that.

I want to be able to sit in silence. I want to be present for the in between spaces of my life.

I don’t want to be always rushing towards the next thing… I don’t want to feel a need for distraction every time my mind finds itself at rest.

Because I think those moments… those quiet, still moments… are some of the most transformative moments that we can have.

We can learn so much about ourselves and others when we sit and rest. When we observe instead of distract.

Think about all of the missed revelations when we don’t give ourselves space to reflect and think.

Think about all of the missed connections when we don’t focus on the world around us.

Technology is a wonderful thing… it has brought so much good into our world… but it’s also something that needs to be treated with care.

So I’m setting boundaries… I’m fighting for balance.

For me, right now, that means limiting my social media time. It means putting away my phone at night after the girls go to bed so I’m not tempted to spend all of my sans kids time on my phone.

It means keeping it on the counter during the day so I’m not constantly looking at when I’m with my girls. It means keeping it in my purse when I’m running errands or on a walk.

This may seem like a lot of boundaries, but I’d like to get to a point where I rarely reach for my phone. There’s so much life outside of my phone, and I would rather engage with it than miss it.

There’s so much life outside of our phones friends. It makes me cringe to think that I’ll get to the end of my life and realize I don’t remember much of it simply because I didn’t notice it.

What about you? Have you found healthy boundaries with your phones? Why is this so hard to do?? It takes a lot of work to put these boundaries in place… and actually keep them, but I think it’s worth it.

Until next time,

Karin

Copy my outfit:

Formula: button down, vintage (or high waisted) denim, sneakers.

Top. Size down (currently on sale for 20% off!)

Denim: vintage. Similar found here.

Sneakers: Sold out. Check back soon for a restock