I came across this photo on Instagram the other day.
#insertsadfacehere
There is just so much wrong with it! I know it’s meant to be clever and funny, but… it’s just not.
Why?
Because there are SO many people (including myself) that have felt this before.
And like this photo, instead of getting to the source of our sadness and working through it, we numb our sadness. Online shopping is an excellent source of numbing, but there are other vices as well.
Why are we so driven by our desire to consume? Why do we find ourselves getting caught up in an endless cycle of negative emotion and consumption?
And what can we do to stop it?
I don’t have the answer for you, but I CAN say that being aware that you are driven by a desire to consume will immensely help the problem.
So do you want to know what I’ve been thinking about lately? Capsule Wardrobes won’t necessarily save you from an endless cycle of consumption. I wish they were the magic answer, but in reality they are not.
I have been thinking about ways to live with less and ALSO limit my consumption desires. I’m mulling over a few ideas, but I don’t want to share them just yet.
Why?
Well I have a tendency to jump head first into an idea without really thinking it through. I want to try to avoid that.
Eventually I will share with you… but it will only be after much processing.
In the meantime have you thought this through? Do you have any ideas on how to do this? Let me know in the comments below!
Also… while I don’t have the answers, one of the most thoughtful viewpoints I have heard on consumerism can be found in this book.
Until next time,
First off, Karin, I am really starting to love your blog. Every post is just so poignant and touches on concepts that are really important me. Your site is quickly becoming a great source of inspiration. Secondly, I think it’s great that we are acknowledging how damaging the idea of “retail therapy” can be on so many levels. And also the flip side where minimalism and/or frugality don’t automatically create an environment of happiness. After making the decision to stay at home with my children when our family moved to another state, I dove headfirst into the world of capsule wardrobes and minimalism. I spent months obsessing about the perfect capsule and how many more personal items I could go without. I thought that once I was “done” I would feel content. But I was just putting off experiencing the emotional roller coaster of raising children and the isolation of being in a new place and knowing no one. I’m not regretting my continued pursuit of a more minimalist existence as it does add real happiness to my day, but I am acknowledging that it won’t fill the void left by my lack of peer interaction. Instead I’m checking in with myself before each new step asking “why do you want to do this?” and “is this something you feel you will regret later?” It makes the process a lot more fulfilling when I acknowledge that I’m doing it to add happiness and not to remove sadness. And once you decide what new steps you’re going to be taking, I look forward to hearing all about it!
Thank you Lauren! You’re words really mean so much to me. I’m so glad you are finding inspiration. I can completely relate to everything you said. I went from a job where I worked with a majority of people my age and so we were all good friends to being a stay at home mom and feeling pretty isolated. In a way, the capsule wardrobe process WAS a way to numb some of those feelings, but I’m now learning how it does have its usefulness, but just like you said I’m figuring out what the right motivations are for doing it. Thanks for sharing!
My husband and I each have a personal budget that we can spend every month without asking the other. During various times, this amount has varied. It helps me still get the sanctification of shopping, but without being reckless. We still watch the budget just like the other ones, but we don’t feel responsible to the other for how we spend it.
Great post! I am sure it would really impact how people think about what they spend- and beautiful photos!
That’s a great idea Autumn! And thank you!
I need that sweater in my life, pronto!
I am guilty of buying too much clothing and I really need to work on that.
xoxo, Jenny
It’s my favorite! We all have our vices right?!
I make myself wait before I buy anything. Usually by the time I have the money saved up, I realize that I don’t really need it after all. This isn’t a fool proof plan but it has helped me 🙂
Good for you for having patience! I really struggle with wanting everything NOW! Haha!
This piece hit home for me. Materialism is something that I struggle with very much and I’ve been at a loss for how to curb the spending addiction. Even when I’m intentionally saying I need to, it’s like I don’t.
I know exactly how you feel Nina! It’s hard isn’t it? Sometimes the best intentions just aren’t enough. I really don’t have an answer, but I hope that you do find some peace from the struggle!
I feel you on this post. That was me a year ago. Maybe less than a year ago. I mean- isn’t there a part of all of us that thinks buying something new will make us happier, prettier, more interesting? I’m definitely still guilty of that. I think just being aware of that thought process is a great first step, and I look forward to hearing more of your reflections about this.
That being said, allow me to compliment your outfit! Isn’t it weird that we want to be less materialistic… But we all still love sharing and talking about style and fashion? Anyway- I love this look; its cozy and interesting and I feel like its very… genuine? I’m not sure if that’s the right word, but I like it. Also that scarf is a perfect added detail! Thank you for sharing!
Kate
kateintheclassroom.com
I think you are absolutely right Kate! It’s like “if I buy this, then…” But “then” never comes. We’re like little hamsters running on wheels, chasing something we’ll never find. And thank you! I do struggle with the balance of wanting to encourage others to live with less (including myself), but also sharing my fashion… I love both! I really appreciate your saying that this is “genuine” because I do actually wear this exact outfit at least once a week! Ha! Also… you have great style so a compliment from you means something. 🙂
I totally agree! However, for me, I tend to go online window shopping, so I rarely ever buy anything. Although that is probably just as bad. Its sad that we tend to try to feel the holes in our heart with material things, or even with the love from other people, but in reality all we need is Jesus. He feels our holes. He lifts us up. I think working through our sadness is much more important than just getting through our sadness. Thank you for this post!
I agree with you Samantha! We’ll never be able to change unless we deal with what is making us sad in the first place.
Consumerism is a problem in general. Especially because so many of the things people are buying are keeping people in poverty. And, it’s stuff we don’t even really need or will use. It’s cheap stuff that will wear out quickly. I really hate the retail therapy mentality. Buying more stuff isn’t going to make you happy.
I agree with you Kathryn! It’s honestly something I think about when I write these posts, because the fact that I’m even struggling with it in the first place puts me ahead of most of the world that is living with so much less. I want to change that.
Buying happiness is definitely something people try to do often, but it’s such a short term solution to the problem (though you may end up with a really awesome wardrobe… ha).
Very true Alexandra! Ha!
I’m loving this post. It’s so true! Covering up the sadness doesn’t create happiness.
Thank you Sierra!
Buying things brings happiness, I like all of the pictures. Joe @ http://www.mydaddoes.com
I’m not sure if I agree with you Joe, but thanks for commenting!
What a wonderful point! I’ve seen that image countless times and never really thought much about it but what you’re saying is true. It’s very easy to fall into the habit of consuming or relying on some outside thing to make you happy within. You should be able to reach out and find your own happiness not buy a temporary one.
-M
http://www.violetroots.com
I definitely agree Monika! I think whenever something becomes mindless we tend to get into trouble. No matter how much we want them to, I really don’t think we’ll ever find true happiness with material things.
This is a great post. I think that the majority of people realize that buying something won’t take away pain, but it does take your mind off of the pain for awhile. When I went through that phase it, going shopping wasn’t my attempt to run away from what was causing me pain, it was just to put it off until my mind could work through it. Sometimes people simply are not ready to deal with whatever is going on in there life. I’m not saying that buying random stuff is the answer, but doing something else instead of handling the pain at the moment isn’t always a bad idea.
That’s a good point that I didn’t think of Ashley. Thank you for sharing that perspective!
Great post. I buy when I’m feeling down, not too much, just maybe 1 item to make me feel better. But it doesn’t really. I love how you use thrift store clothes in your posts. I’m a big thrift store shopper too.
I’m definitely guilty of that too Jenny! And thank you! Thrift store shopping is the best!
Great post! Agreed that buying is just masking sadness without solving the core problem. I don’t buy a lot of other things, but I’m obsessed with makeup.
I also love makeup so I feel you!
oh i can so relate to that!
At least you’re good at saving money! 🙂
Shopping (regardless of what it is) provides a boost in endorphins when one is feeling down. Sadly, online shopping makes it so easy to click a button for something that isn’t needed. It’s not easy to acknowledge the not so great feelings but easy to shop and buy. Such a great post! I’m beginning to think about how I can also live with less. In reality, I have more than I need.
Online shopping definitely makes the problem worse… at least for me! And I agree with you about it being easier to shop than to deal with the root of the problem. And thank you! I’m so happy that you are starting to think about these things. I’m definitely still processing things as well!
This sadness is because our hearts are restless until they rest in God. When we try and feed our souls with consumption of things that fade, we always end up having our hunger come back. This is why God gives us our daily bread! He knows of our hunger, He gave it to us so it could direct our hearts to His!
Well said Pomeline!
I totally agree. What void are we filling by clicking buy, and whom should we be running to instead. ????
Definitely! I completely agree with you Aly!