As you may have figured out from this month’s monthly mantra, we’ve been a bit busy this month.
It’s so hard on me!
I’m not one of those people that thrives from busyness. I like travel, but I prefer the coming home part, I don’t like to have an endless array of activity.
I’m happiest with just a bit of activity throughout the week, with lots of time for relaxing in the morning with a cup of coffee (before the kids get up of course… ha!), for playing outside, for taking walks…
It’s where my soul is most happy, and where I find my equilibrium.
There is this prevailing sentiment in our culture that if we don’t give our children enough experiences that they are going to grow up somehow having missed out… that they’re going to have a “less than” childhood.
I, myself, feel that pressure… my life isn’t worth noticing unless I’m living every moment in some sort of extreme way (right?).
It just seems that we have become imbalanced in that all we focus on are the experiences, and we try to cram as many as we can into our schedules.
And you know what? I think it’s having a negative effect on our society.
When we’re constantly going and moving from one activity to the other, there is very little opportunity to just “be…” to experience boredom, and learn how to overcome it, or to learn how to play/relax creatively.
All of that busyness makes it very hard to learn contentment with little, every day moments… the kind of moments that life is made of.
So we end up stuck with a constant sense of “what’s next.”
But I also think it removes the need for us to rely on intuition, and to learn the art of “trusting our gut.”
Although it’s hard to prioritize, I value creativity and slowness in our home, and I want to show my children that their intuition is valuable.
And there is no rush to develop. There is no rush to achieve new skills.
I know this world. I know that they will be endlessly busy for the rest of their lives. I know that they will have endless demands put on them.
I want this little piece of their lives to be slow.
I want this little piece of OUR lives to be slow.
And I want them to learn creativity, and trust in themselves now, before “growing up” makes those skills harder to hold on to.
But lately it’s really hit me that the only way they are going to figure that stuff out is if I’m modeling it for them.
Double sigh.
And lately I’ve found myself in a cycle of endless busyness that gives me all kinds of stress. I’m eager to get rid of it… I’m eager to slow down.
Out of necessity I’ve been asking myself: what can I get rid of? What’s pulling me down that isn’t necessary?
:: Sewing. I know. But it is. Sometimes I’m so goal oriented that I push myself way too hard. I like the idea that I’m going to be making all of my own clothes AND the girls clothes, but this season does not allow it. I’m making the intention that I will sew one afternoon on the weekend when the girls are napping and no more. What get’s done, get’s done.
:: Blogging. Again… I know. But this one has an easy fix. I had a bunch of super in depth posts planned for July, but we’re out of town for half of July. Not good planning on my part. So I’m letting go of the idea that my content calendar has to be rigidly followed. Those posts will wait, my stress level will not. I’m still happy with the content I’ll be sharing with you guys, but it’s not so labor intensive.
:: Feeling like I have to live up to everyone’s expectations. This one isn’t as easy to identify or fix. But I’ve noticed lately that I’ve had a lot of stress in this area. Instagram is part of it, but it goes deeper than that. I haven’t really figured out exactly where it’s stemming from, but I do know that I’m feeling a lot of pressure to perform. Need to sort that one out some more.
:: Bedtimes and mealtimes for the girls. This one I just need to let go of. When we’re traveling, and it’s summer, things just get off schedule, and diets aren’t as healthy as they usually are. I need to be less rigid in this area, and be comfortable with a bit of flexibility. Painful for me!
I’m hopeful that our Florida trip will be a time of relaxation. I’m repeating “This WILL be a relaxing and rejuvenating trip” over and over in my head. I am FULLY aware that a large part of my struggle with stress is mental so I’m trying to recognize that, and turn it around before it ever manifests.
Uff Da!
How are you guys doing with summer so far? Has it been busier than you wanted it to? Or has it been relaxing?
Until next time,
Karin
Shop this post:
Tank: Me! Fabric I used. Pattern I used.
Pants: Old Only Child c/o. Similar Style
Shoes: Saltwater
Kit’s Overalls: Simple Sawyer.
Kit’s Shoes: Saltwater
This is so good, Karin, and I admire your pushback against the frenetic culture of modern parenting.
We’re pretty slow at my house, too, and when people ask me what we’ve been doing this week, I feel a momentary embarrassment, because there’s nothing snazzy to tell them. We’ve been reading books and climbing trees and digging in the garden. It’s absolutely magical, but it doesn’t make for an interesting conversation with people who don’t appreciate slow.
Thanks Helena! I often feel that way too, or embarrassed if I can’t remember anything specific since we didn’t do anything “monumental.”
This was a BIG topic at my church retreat last weekend, which is actually just an excuse to drink some wine and rock on a porch swing for 12 hours each day. One of my fellow parishioners is in his 50s and he and his wife purposefully committed to working only 32 hours a week each so that they have more time with their kids and with each other. It was so refreshing to hear a “grown-up” say that working all the time isn’t what it’s all about. And then a stay-at-home mom tied in the idea that kids need the same attention given to *just being.* We have created moral value around working and staying busy but if you look at the mystics, or really any person in history revered for their wisdom, they were people of deep intention who knew how to meditate and take quiet time for themselves.
Sounds like my type of church retreat! I love that so much… David and I had a conversation when we first got married about “careers.” He works for a technology company as a project manager and at the time I was working in higher education and together we agreed that we weren’t going to pursue VP status or beyond. It’s enticing because of the money those positions offer, but we both agreed that we’d rather enjoy each other (and our eventual children) than work towards careers that demand all of us. Sometimes money is a struggle, but I’m so thankful that we can give the gift of time to each other.