A few weeks ago I shared how Kit had begun biting me when breastfeeding.
Oh man was I a mess when I wrote that.
The thing is, up until that point we had been doing SO well. Kit had always been SO good at breastfeeding… it just wasn’t something that we ever had to work at.
So when she started biting me it was just so shocking! I had no idea how to respond because I wasn’t used to having to trouble shoot in that area.
I wrote that post in a desperate attempt to get some advice and you all were amazing! I got e-mails, facebook messages, comments, etc. of so many encouraging and helpful tips.
So. I decided to keep going and for a week and a half she didn’t bite me once!
I thought we had gotten over the hump… yeah no such luck.
After about a week and a half she started doing it again, but this time it was ten times worse than before! No matter what I tried, she would keep doing it.
I tried pulling her closer like a lot of you suggested, but she would just bite harder. I tried tapping her cheek and saying no, but she would completely ignore me. It wasn’t an issue of her not being latched properly either. She would be latched and then in a quick second she would pull back and bite before I could catch her.
Anyways… I tried.
And then I couldn’t try anymore.
It was causing so much tension between the two of us. So I made the decision to be done.
Interestingly enough, I was okay with it this time. I think the first time, I wasn’t ready because it had happened so suddenly.
This time, I had several weeks to process my feelings about it and I realized that I was ready to be done. It’s not that it was an easy decision, but I knew it was no longer the best option for either Kit or me.
I had all of these aspirations to just keep breastfeeding Kit at least to a year and then longer if we could. I think I was a little bit arrogant in my belief that we would have absolutely no problems with that goal.
I forgot that Kit is actually a human being with a will of her own. Whoops!
There are so many things in life that are “supposed” to go one way or another and then they just… don’t. Having Kit has taught me so much about letting go of expectations and just rolling with it. That’s such a good lesson for me to learn!
Anyone else had to stop earlier than you thought you would? Or learned a similar lesson from their children? Let me know in the comments below!
Until next time,
I hate biting! My started doing this a few weeks ago and I’m seriously reconsidering the whole extended nursing plan. :'( How old is your little one?
It seriously is the worst! It hurts so bad! She will be one in a couple of weeks, but she started biting right after she turned 10 months and we were done with breastfeeding by eleven months. Don’t feel bad if you can’t keep going… I’ve talked to so many other mamas that had to stop earlier than they thought!
I have felt your pain and it is not fun! I would put my knuckle or finger down first to see if my little one was going to bite or latch. This seemed to work and then I also read if they are biting they are not nursing so take them off. The one time Elle got me bad she had stopped nursing and bit out of frustration. I’m sorry plans didn’t go as you had hoped, but it is good you are settled with your choice. Nurturing and loving them is the most important even if that means alternatives to breastmilk.
I totally agree with you about the nurturing and loving! That is what is most important. My daughter has a stubborn streak a mile wide, so I honestly think she just got it in her head that she wanted to bite and nothing I did was going to distract her from it. Ha!
Oh, the biting. Not fun at all. My son never bit, but my little girl started biting for awhile when she began teething. I resorted to plugging her nose to make her unlatch and take a breath. But still, not fun at all. It’s hard when things don’t go as they are supposed to, and I love your perspective of it all. 🙂
That’s a great idea! Hopefully my future children won’t bite, but if they do I’ll have to try that! And thank you. I’m trying to be positive instead of bumming out about it.
Motherhood – one long season of adjusting expectations! 😉 I’ve nursed babies for a year, one for seven months, the next 10 months, and I think back to a year for the last one. I’ve had so many ideals and aspirations that I’ve had to let go over the years because they really aren’t the hill we are to die on…although sometime we think they are when we are starting out. Remember what truly matters – it’s not how many months you nurse your baby or whether you feed them organic food or not – it’s simply doing the best you can right where you are. And that is exactly what you are doing. Wishing you the very best!
Oh thank you Katie… this was so encouraging! Just what I needed to read. I so often think there’s more I should be or could be doing, but I love how you said doing the best you can right where you are. I need to daily remind myself of that.
Congrats on making it so long! Breastfeeding can be hard (and painful as you said) so good job on sticking with it as long as it worked for you guys. It must have been a hard decision but you know what is best for you guys. Biting is just not cool!
Thank you Hil! I am happy that we made it to eleven months. It was hard, but you are right! It was the best decision for us.
I love your honesty on your mothering journey! You are absolutely right, sometimes the best laid plans and intentions just don’t go as we expect, and we as moms are all seeking to love and nurture our children in the way that is best for our kids and works for our families. I love that there are options of how to parent and that there isn’t just one way. Beauty in diversity, because we are all individuals! Grace and joy to you, friend!
Thank you Kel! I know what a good mama you are so you’re words are so encouraging! And Amen! There is beauty in diversity! Love you!
i think just the letting go of expectations is the first step
Absolutely!
Like you, breastfeeding went super great with Jack. No problems with supply or demand, but soon after I found out I was pregnant again, my supply just wasn’t enough for my growing boy. I had to quit sooner then I ever thought and, like you, once I processed it, I was actually fine with the decision! Never looked back!
That’s interesting Jess… I wonder if pregnancy affects supply. Either way, Jack is clearly doing fine. 🙂 And CONGRATS!! I saw your pictures and it looks like you have two red heads now??
I am just 3 months in to breastfeeding and dreading the time that this happens. I think it can be hard to know when to stop especially when it is such a controversial issue. Do what’s right for you and your little one!
I always wondered how I knew it would be the right time to stop until it WAS the right time to stop. I think you’ll know because there will be a peace about it.
Great outfit!
http://www.footnotesandfinds.com/
Thank you!
Oh what a lovely challenge breastfeeding is! Scratch that, what a lovely challenge this whole parenting thing is!!!
I had a horrible start to breastfeeding. After 4 months I was ready to give up, but finally got help. He is self weaning now at 16 months because I am 6 months pregnant with our second and have nothing for him.
The best advice I was given with biting was to promptly remove the offender from my breast while saying loudly in an upset (not angry) voice “OUCH that hurts!” and then to put them away from me, like on the floor (if it’s safe to) for a minute or two. As well that nursing session was over. The lc that helped me gave that advice and it did work. It scared him and he cried but after a time or two he got the hint.
I’m glad you are okay with being done now, it’s pretty hard for me to accept that we won’t get to two years like I had hoped but I’m glad for the time we’ve had.
Thank you for the encouragement Kendra! I did try doing that very thing with her a couple of times, but both times she cried SO hard and then refused to eat for the rest of the day… it’s like I said above, all of the tips and tricks were actually making the whole process so stressful for us that I knew it was time to be done. That’s great that you made it to 16 months though! That’s more than a lot of people do!